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Larissa's avatar

Some things that have helped me: I go in with a realistic goal for the appointment and share that in the first moments of the appointment with the doctor. Either something that can be accomplished in the 10 to 15 minutes or something that can be addressed gradually over a number of appointments. Often, doctors I see are overwhelmed by my chart and history and express this overwhelm, saying things like 'I don't know what I can do for' or 'You have a lot going on' - to which a refocus them and that I don't expect them to deal with everything that day, that I just need help with this one specific thing for this visit. That usually settles them and leads to a productive appointment. I'm also really upfront now about the fact that I likely won't be trying any new medications anytime soon, so I won't be taking anything they are prescribing. But I emphasize to them that for me, investigating what the diagnosis is and understanding why I have symptoms is more important to me right now.

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Karen's avatar

This was a wonderful piece with so many solid, helpful phrases and approaches. It takes massive restraint for me not to lay into rude, ego driven doctors with such limited knowledge and ideas, and yet you are right about getting in their shoes and recognizing the system they are functioning in.

I’ve definitely had more disappointing doctor visits than good ones including a visit in the same doctor’s office where a year+ prior I learned of a miscarriage and when I got emotional the nurse told me she was going to leave some brochures about perimenopause behind when she ended the appointment. God forbid I was just sad and triggered being in that room!!! And regardless, what a cold reaction to someone’s emotions. Never went back.

On another occasion I was told I had fibroids on my uterus and I would need a D&C to remove them ( I was told they can be a precursor to cancer so I really should get them out now). I used the “thank you for telling me, let’s wait and give it a little time” ( in particular shouldn’t we wait till another time in my cycle to see if anything shifts?!!). I focused on natural remedies came back 1.5 year later and was told they are gone and the doctor had NEVER seen that before and has no idea or explanation for it. 🤯 I wanted to respond with “ of course you’ve never seen this happen because 99% of your patients probably go forward with the D&C because they are terrified!!” Instead I said “ oh gosh, wonderful news. I’m so glad we waited on the D & C, aren’t you?” Aaaaaand crickets.

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